this 2nd version seems better as haiku.
For two more bird haiku check out my follower/followed Sid Kemp (full disclosure: my husband 🙂 ). One of them does sort of the opposite in relating birds to nature, making it anything but indifferent.
Both work.
Ken WagnerDec 13, 2008 @ 20:53
Yep, I knew as soon as I pushed “Publish” that it was philosophy, not haiku. But – full disclosure! – I did not want to erase the process, so I put the original in the Comments section.
I hope to preserve this focus on process and growth as the Haiku Habits site moves forward.
Thanks for the feedback, as well as the tip about your husband’s posts!
Comments on this entry are closed.
Was –
Seagulls
need wind. Wind is
indifferent.
this 2nd version seems better as haiku.
For two more bird haiku check out my follower/followed Sid Kemp (full disclosure: my husband 🙂 ). One of them does sort of the opposite in relating birds to nature, making it anything but indifferent.
Both work.
Yep, I knew as soon as I pushed “Publish” that it was philosophy, not haiku. But – full disclosure! – I did not want to erase the process, so I put the original in the Comments section.
I hope to preserve this focus on process and growth as the Haiku Habits site moves forward.
Thanks for the feedback, as well as the tip about your husband’s posts!