this 2nd version seems better as haiku. For two more bird haiku check out my follower/followed Sid Kemp (full disclosure: my husband 🙂 ). One of them does sort of the opposite in relating birds to nature, making it anything but indifferent. Both work.
Ken WagnerDec 13, 2008 @ 20:53
Yep, I knew as soon as I pushed “Publish” that it was philosophy, not haiku. But – full disclosure! – I did not want to erase the process, so I put the original in the Comments section.
I hope to preserve this focus on process and growth as the Haiku Habits site moves forward.
Thanks for the feedback, as well as the tip about your husband’s posts!
Was –
Seagulls
need wind. Wind is
indifferent.
this 2nd version seems better as haiku.
For two more bird haiku check out my follower/followed Sid Kemp (full disclosure: my husband 🙂 ). One of them does sort of the opposite in relating birds to nature, making it anything but indifferent.
Both work.
Yep, I knew as soon as I pushed “Publish” that it was philosophy, not haiku. But – full disclosure! – I did not want to erase the process, so I put the original in the Comments section.
I hope to preserve this focus on process and growth as the Haiku Habits site moves forward.
Thanks for the feedback, as well as the tip about your husband’s posts!